Grieving, Tsunamis and Horses

Fall Pic at Kathy's

I have had my share of heartache in my life; the death of my brother, my parents and my husband so if repetition makes us experts then I guess I’m an expert in grieving and in empathy.


Loss comes in many forms but the unbearable heartache is the common denominator. There is loss of family members which includes loss of infants through SIDS, miscarriage or stillborn births. Then there is the loss of your job or home or the loss of a dear pet. Everyone has or will experience loss and it will change you – how can it not?


Fall at Kathy Water


Grieving is a process, a long and hard process but is normal and absolutely necessary in order to join the human race again. A dear friend of mine who also lost her husband, described her grieving process using an analogy of waves and it was exactly how it felt for me.


Mine began with tsunamis. The ache in my heart in the beginning of my grieving process would come in like waves on the ocean but these waves were 10-story tsunamis and would quite literally bowl me over. Over time, the waves were chest high and although still difficult to stand up in, I was able to remain standing through some of them. Eventually the waves became waist high and I’d lose my balance with a few but could remain standing through most of them. Finally, the waves were at my ankles, the water was warm and the sun was shining and I could stand through these waves easily and reminisce with happy memories instead of sad ones.


Through all the heights of my waves, I know I would not have reached the ripples as quickly without the help of my horses. They were the biggest healing factor in my recovery. Their uncanny sensitivity to my plethora of emotions (rage, fear, heartache, depression, etc.) gave me the strength to carry on until I felt joy and hope once again. I just had to go into the little herd, own the emotion that was predominant at that time, remain humble and let them do their magic.


If you are willing to try something different to ease your suffering and heartache, please give me a call at 3H Connection. Even if it’s just a half-hour walk amongst the herd, you will go home feeling that something beautiful just happened and maybe, just maybe, your heart will ache a little less that day.



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